One of the fundamental shifts I teach my clients is to move from immediately fixing, giving advice or providing direction to asking questions. I give them the practice to say a little less, listen more deeply and ask a few more questions.
It sounds easy but as the saying goes, “easier said than done.”
In a recent conversation with a group of leaders, I was asked, “How do I balance asking questions with the urgent need to get things done—and done in a specific way?” This is a really, really great question and the challenge comes from our natural mode as professionals.
It comes in two parts. First, when we’re a team member, we’re often being told what to do and how to do it. Second, if we’re the leader, our natural mode often is to be directive, to give answers or be the hero of the situation.
Our world of work has convinced us that that’s the way we need to be. So it makes sense that so many leaders ask me the same question again and again, “how do I balance asking questions with the urgent need to get things done—and done in a specific way?”
I don’t want you to abandon the need to get things done or that they are done with quality and done in a certain way. It’s important to you. You’re taking ownership of what’s getting done and how it’s getting done. Plus, you want it done in a really high quality way. I don’t want you to completely abandon that.
So that brings us back to the question of balance. The truth is, it doesn’t always have to balance. And seeking this ideal puts unnecessary pressure on you, because it’s simply impossible. Sometimes you’re going to ask a lot more questions. Sometimes, you’re going to have to give a lot more direction. And that’s okay.
Instead of the word “balance”, let’s use the word “integration.” How do you integrate questions into a dynamic, action-oriented, and high-demand work environment?
This is going to require you to install an upgrade to your operating system. When you get a PC, the default browser is Microsoft Internet Explorer. Personally, I don’t really like Internet Explorer, but you know what, that’s the default mode. That’s like our mode of directing and telling; that’s our default mode. Now back to the PC example for a moment. I’ve grown to like Google’s Chrome internet browser, but in order for me to use Chrome in a very straightforward, easy-to-use way, I have to do something. I have to install Chrome and put it in my toolbar at the bottom of my screen so that it’s right there and I can have access to it all the time.
This is similar to how we show up as a leader. You have to change your default mode/approach and install a different version, so to speak, and it takes a little bit of intention and time. Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as the computer example. You have to be really intentional and shift to where questions become your default mode and are your first line of action.
So, when you enter into an urgent situation where things need to be done quickly and done well, first ask questions to explore where the other person is coming from, how they see things working and where do you go from here. It doesn’t mean that you don’t eventually have to be directive, especially if the person needs that kind of support, but lead first with questions.
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This question came from The Intentional Leader platform that provides leaders with access to world-class coaching and leadership development without breaking the bank or disrupting the course of work. If you care deeply about your people but don’t see how you can invest in them, check out The Intentional Leader platform.